


Access Denied

by Liepe



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, M/M, Miscommunication, scheming starters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 13:40:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20193181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liepe/pseuds/Liepe
Summary: Uncrowned Kings try to figure out who Akashi is dating, with great speculations and misplaced indignation. Akashi is confused by his starters but is mostly focused on his phone. Mayuzumi is there for the voice of reason that everyone ignores.





	Access Denied

**Author's Note:**

> First fanfic of the year! Also first knb fic ever! I did all the dialogue first for this fic, which isn’t my normal writing method but was still fun to do. I just had fun with this one and I hope you all enjoy it as well!

Reo watched Akashi walk out of the locker room scrolling through his phone, her eyes narrowing at the almost bounce in his step. “Have any of you noticed Sei-chan has been acting weird?"

Nebuya gave her a dubious look. “You know this is the same person who offered to gouge out his eyeballs and give them to us if we lost a game, right?”

“But he’s a lot less insane now since we lost the Winter Cup!” Hayama was quick to defend, head poking out of his t-shirt. “We’re allowed to check our cell phones during breaks now!”

Reo nodded. “And last week he lessened our training regimen when I asked him to.”

“Yesterday he helped me study for the science test,” Nebuya added.

“And that’s exactly my point.” Reo snapped her fingers. “He’s been calmer since the Winter Cup, true, but these past three weeks he’s been _nice_.”

This gave them all a pause.

“Didn’t just last month he confiscated a third year’s phone, saying he would drop it from the school roof if he saw it again?” asked Hayama, remembering that terrifying incident. The poor boy looked like he was going to cry.

Reo looked over at Nebuya. “How was your tutoring session?”

“It was pleasant and helpful,” Nebuya said, in growing horror. “He even brought snacks.”

They all began to panic.

“Is he sick? What if he’s dying?” Hayama frantically asked.

“Do you think the pressure of being captain at such a young age has finally broken him?” wondered Reo.

“Maybe aliens have laid eggs in his brains and are messing with his head.”

Nebuya joined in the conspiracy. “What if he's been _replaced_ by an alien?”

“I mean; I’ve been telling you guys from the beginning that Akashi isn’t human,” Hayama said, exasperated. “His _eye_ changes colour.”

“Trick of the light, I’m telling you,” Reo dismissed.

“They glow during game time!”

“Adrenaline.”

“Maybe he’s dating someone?” Mayuzumi threw in, wondering why he was joining their, frankly, ridiculous conversation. He was going to put it down to vague curiosity.

“What?” This suggestion threw the Uncrowned Kings.

“You said he lifted the banned on phones, right?” Reo nodded when Mayuzumi looked at her. “He did so he could check his. Simple.”

“The lessened training time?” Hayama hesitantly asked.

“To spend more time with his partner.”

“Being nice while tutoring me?”

Mayuzumi shrugged. “Good sex?”

There was an awkward pause as the idea of their captain having sex became a possibility.

Reo grimaced and quickly asked the main question, “But who would Sei-chan date?”

“And more importantly,” Hayama added. “Who would date _Akashi_?”

“Do you think he would make a good boyfriend?” Mayuzumi asked, honestly just to see what the Uncrown Kings’ reactions would be. Nebuya face was still frozen in discomfort from his earlier comment and it was pretty amusing.

Reo hesitated. “I… don’t know. I can’t imagine Sei-chan _liking_ someone to that degree.”

Hayama nodded. “It would have to be someone special. Someone from Rakuzan?”

“Can’t be, or we would know.”

“So someone from another school. A cute manager? Maybe it’s the one that was also with the Generation of Miracles!” Hayama excitedly said, looking like he cracked the code.

Reo shook her head. “She’s in love with Kuroko, remember?”

Hayama waved his hand dismissively. “Aren’t all the Miracles in love with Kuroko?”

Reo froze, staring widely at Hayama. “You don’t think…?”

“But isn’t he with Kagami?” Hayama asked in alarm, catching onto what Reo was implying.

“But Akashi could still…” Reo made a vague hand movement that somehow explained everything she refused to say.

“It could be another basketball player that isn’t Kuroko?” Nebuya hesitantly offered, seemingly coming back from the dark place he went off to. 

“I guess,” Reo dubiously agreed. “But who?”

“Oh!” Hayama exclaimed suddenly. “We can steal his phone and see!”

“Or we could just ask him?” offered Mayuzumi, the only sensible person in this conversation.

He was ignored.

**OoO**

Getting Akashi’s phone proved to be a bit more difficult than just grabbing it while he was busy.

“Because Akashi sees everything,” Hayama hissed, sending quick looks at Akashi who was, coincidentally, on his phone.

Reo rolled her eyes. “My God, you make him sound like a super-villain.” And wasn’t that a terrifying thought, because there was no doubt that Akashi would make a very successful villain. He already had the tragic backstory for one.

Hayama, in a panic way to create a distraction, challenged Akashi to a one-on-one. The match itself was like watching a car accident, nothing was going to turn out well but you couldn’t look away. It was short and brutal. The phone was forgotten in favour of watching the carnage.

The closest they came was when Akashi was taking a shower. They managed to locate the phone in his bag, after way too long rummaging. However, it was password protected, which was a low move on Akashi’s half. It made snooping very hard.

Hayama peered over Reo’s shoulder at the phone. “Try 1234.”

Reo scoffed. “That’s dumb. Maybe his birthday?”

“Do aliens even have birthdays?”

“For the last time, he’s not an alien.”

“Felt that way facing off him.” Hayama leaned back, pouting.

Before they could even attempt to break the code, Nebuya waved his hands frantically from his lookout position as they heard the shower go off. Luckily for them, a message came through the same time, appearing on the front screen. In their panic, they could only see the letter “K” in the contact name before the phone was shoved haphazardly back into the bag.

Akashi walked in and gave his starters a weird look. That was probably because their idea of acting natural was to pose like they were on the front cover of a style magazine. Reo was lounging on a bench as if to seduce a lover. Akashi was rightfully suspicious and not seduced at all.

**OoO**

“I’m telling you that it’s Kuroko,” Reo hissed, walking down the street while still doing her tie.

They left the changing rooms as soon as they could. Reo and Hayama were buzzing from their new-found knowledge, while Nebuya less excited but still curious. Mayuzumi was there because this was his way home and it seemed more effort to try and ditch the three idiots than to walk behind them.

Hayama was still doubtful on their leading suspect. “I don’t think Kuroko is one to cheat on his boyfriend.”

“But it’s Sei-chan,” Reo shot back. “Who wouldn’t cheat on their lover for Sei-chan?”

“People who actually value their lives?” Hayama’s voice went up a few notches because no one could be that suicidal, could they? He quickly added, “Also, I don’t think Akashi would take it too kindly to being a side chick. He would want to be the main hoe.”

Nebuya groaned. “Can we please stop putting our captain in sexual scenarios?”

Reo ignored Nebuya. “Does this make Sei-chan a homewrecker?”

Hayama eyes went wide, as he never thought of his captain like that. “He really is a villain!”

“We have to stop him!” Reo slammed her fist in her hand in righteous declaration.

“Yeah!” Hayama said with the same enthusiasm, fist in the air.

“But how?” Nebuya asked, confused but determined to help his captain in any way.

“By confronting him of his bad ways!” Reo exclaimed, a steely glint in her eyes.

“And help him find a better, healthy relationship!” Hayama was now visibly vibrating.

“He’s obviously trapped in some situation and he needs to be broken free!”

“Shown the error of his way and lead down a path of redemption!”

“God help us all,” Mayuzumi deadpanned from the back.

**OoO**

“Sei-chan!” yelled Reo, storming towards him. She wasted no time and decided to confront him the next day before morning practice. Nebuya and Hayama approached at a slower pace but both looking just as unwavering. Akashi raised one eyebrow at them.

“You must stop your harmful ways right now!”

“What-”

Hayama jumped in before Akashi could complete his baffled question. “We know about your little secret relationship.”

Nebuya nodded coldly.

Akashi’s eyes lit up in recognition. “Oh, you know about-”

“And honestly, I’m appalled,” Reo was so wound up that she even went as far as to stab Akashi in the chest. Hayama and Nebuya quickly lost their resolve in favour of staring at Reo in horror. No one dared to get close to Akashi, not for a friendly slap or high-five, and especially not to poke him in disapproval.

Akashi looked down at the offending finger before fixing Reo with a look that sent goosebumps down Hayama’s arms. “Excuse me.”

Nebuya visibly flinched at Akashi’s tone. “Uh oh.”

“Maybe we should stop.” Hayama was bouncing from foot to foot in nervous energy, literally feeling the air get colder as Akashi glared at Reo.

Reo clearly had a death wish, for she pushed on regardless. “To be involved with someone like that is honestly a disgrace. I thought you had better taste, or at the very least better tact.”

“Really.”

“Is his eye glowing?” Nebuya whispered to Hayama in fear.

“Told you,” Hayama hissed back.

Both of them took a few cautious steps back, leaving Reo to her suicidal mission.

Let it be said, if Reo felt passionate about something, nothing stood in her way. “We are all aware how emotionally stunted you are, but that does not excuse you’re behaviour. To go ahead with this relationship, where the long distance is most likely already a strain but to also be with someone who would stoop so low as to agree with it as well, is ludicrous. Sei-chan, you can do a lot better. You don’t need to settle for a vile bastard like him.”

“You do not get to speak about Furihata like this,” Akashi spat, looking ten seconds from murdering Reo.

Reo jaw dropped in disbelief. “You’re dating another person? Sei-chan, you’re no better than Kuroko!”

“What does Kuroko have to do with any of this?!”

Reo frowned at the frustrated confusion on Akashi’s face, finger dropping. “What do you mean?”

“For God’s sake,” Mayuzumi muttered, having entered the court around the middle of Reo’s rant and was fully done with the Uncrowned Kings’ shenanigans. “Are you dating Kuroko or not?”

“Of course not,” Akashi grounded out through clenched teeth.

Reo squinted at Akashi. “Then who are you dating?”

“Furihata Kouki.”

The Uncrowned Kings blinked in baffled union. “… Who?”

“Serin’s point guard.”

“I never thought Akashi would be into older men,” said Hayama.

“Not that one,” Akashi said with very little patience. Mayuzumi was honestly amazed that he had any left. “The other one.”

Hayama blinked in surprise. “They had another point guard?”

“Oh,” Reo exclaimed. “They had the first year, right?”

Nebuya frowned. “The really scared one? But Akashi, why would you date someone so weak and-”

Hayama was very quick to jab Nebuya sharply in his sides as the murderous look came creeping back onto Akashi’s face.

“And very lovely,” Hayama rushed to continue, loudly over Nebuya’s pained wheezing. “And kind, and great in bed-”

Reo smartly stepped back onto Hayama’s foot before he did any further damage, a bright smile on her face as she smoothly finished, “And we’re really happy for you Sei-chan. We should meet him sometime.”

Akashi narrowed his eyes at the suggestion. “Over your dead body.”

“Isn’t the dead body supposed to be yours?” Hayama asked absently, more worried about his foot then what he was saying. That was until he looked up and saw Akashi’s irritated expression and hastily corrected himself, “Right, never mind, over mine.”

**Bonus Meeting:**

“Come on, come on, pick up Reo-nee,” Hayama muttered, eyes darting from the phone to the two boys walking casually down the street from them.

Nebuya was the first to spot their captain and opened his mouth to call out to him. Hayama forcibly grabbed Nebuya when he realised who was with Akashi, cutting him off mid-shout. Now they’re both hiding behind a tree with a nearby shop owner eyeing them suspiciously. Thankfully Akashi hadn’t noticed them.

“What,” came Reo’s very annoyed voice, gruff from sleep. Hayama immediately put her on speaker-phone.

“Okay, you’re not going to believe this,” Hayama spoke quickly. “But Akashi is on a date.”

“What!”

Hayama and Nebuya hastily shushed her, even though they were out of earshot from Akashi.

“Don’t shush me,” Reo snapped. “Details! I need details!”

Hayama leaned more fully out to get a clearer view of the two. “Uh, they’re kinda just walking around? The Serin kid just pointed at something and Akashi is nodding.” He looked at Nebuya for help but he just shrugged back. “I don’t know Reo-nee; they’re just being normal?”

“The fact that Sei-chan is out in public with Kou-chan makes this all very much not normal.”

“Kou-chan,” Nebuya mouthed and Hayama had no clue either.

“What are they wearing?” Reo demanded and rustling could be heard through the phone.

Hayama squinted at the pair. “Uh, Akashi has a coat on. It’s black and long, I guess? Serin kid is wearing a blue hoodie.”

Reo sighed loudly. “Anything else?” She slammed a door.

“They’re both wearing trousers,” Nebuya added helpfully.

“Right! Akashi’s are brown, Serin’s are black. Black jeans I think, kinda hard to tell though.” 

“Oh my God,” Reo groaned. “You two are useless. Just send me a picture.”

Hayama and Nebuya looked at each other

“I can’t do it.” Hayama waved his phone in emphasis, where Reo could be heard stomping.

Nebuya grimaced and took out his phone, hesitating. “I don’t feel comfortable taking a picture without them knowing.”

Hayama thought it over before nodding. “Yeah, it’s a little creepy, Reo-nee.”

“Oh like you don’t do it to strangers on the train,” Reo snapped. Hayama squawked in protest.

Reo exhaled harshly. “Forget it, I’ll be there soon.” More slamming doors and rustling as Reo was obviously getting changed. “Where are they?”

Hayama opened his mouth but just then his phone was neatly plucked out of his hand. Both the Uncrowned Kings paled as they realised that they had completely forgotten about the whole hiding process of their spying and were now out in plain view.

Akashi stood calmly before them, considering they were just spying on him. Hayama and Nebuya shifted nervously.

Akashi calmly brought the phone near him. “No need to come, Reo,” he said, voice pleasant. The rustling on the other side stopped.

“Ah, Sei-chan.” Reo’s tone was forcibly cheerful. “I hear that you’re on a date?”

“Yes, and I think you’ve meddled enough as it is.” It was a warning if the Uncrowned Kings have ever heard one.

Reo sighed. “You can’t avoid us from meeting Kou-chan forever.”

Akashi’s eyes narrowed slightly. “We’ll see about that.” He ended the call before Reo could protest, handing the phone back to a frozen Hayama.

“I suggest that you two turn around and start walking,” Akashi told them sternly.

They nodded and bolted the scene before Akashi could change his mind.

“Akashi?” Furihata called, holding two ice-creams he had just bought for them. He blinked at Hayama’s and Nebuya’s fast retreating backs. “Aren’t those your teammates?”

“Yes, they had to go somewhere quickly.”

“Oh.” Furihata face fell and Akashi stiffened in alarm. “I was hoping to meet them properly.”

Akashi hesitated. His immediate answer was a hard no; he didn’t want the Uncrowned Kings anywhere near Furihata and what horrors they might unleash on him. Any resolved he had against the meeting, however, melted when he saw Furihata’s despondent face.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Akashi sighed in defeat.

**Author's Note:**

> i love a whipped akashi


End file.
